New hair style. What do you think? [By the way, the shirts that I am wearing are purple, not blue how the picture makes them look.]

English . . . Maybe?

A simple lesson that I've learned is that everything is always changing. Sometimes, these changes happen quick and leave you wondering what just happened; other times, changes occur slowly over time, barely noticeable until various years later. People can't stop these changes, but they can help speed them up or slow them down. Changes can be for the better or for the worse, but one thing that will always remain the same is that you will never be the same. 

My change was after losing someone who I had cared for and cherished as one of my best friends. He gave me honest advice like a true friend would and tried to help me as much as possible. He was my best friend, and I only had time for him. He was my everything: my sense of security, my happiness, and my honesty. With him, I believed in myself, which is something that is no longer familiar to me. I was one of the happiest people you would ever converse with. My smiling face and optimistic attitude kept me going, even when times were rough. I was filled with ambition and willingness to succeed, believing that the sky was the limit and that my dreams would come to me if I put in enough effort. I pushed my flaws aside and believed that the scuffs on my shoes built character. The day that I lost him, I lost a part of me.

My optimistic attitude was now clouded with dismal reality, and I no longer carried a smile on my face. The feeling of self-fulfillment was replaced with the feelings of worthlessness and emptiness. My once light heart had turned into a stone in my chest. I spent the weekends sitting in my house, having only memories to comfort me, for I made the choice to make no other friends but him. 

Building myself up from rock bottom will probably be the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. I found new friends, learned to make my own decisions, and became independent. As rough as this experience was, I'm glad that I was able to work through it and become stronger. Even though I am no longer the optimist, I believe that this is who I am now, and I've just recently learned how to accept myself again.

No haiku, today, just a lot of confusion, excitement, and happiness.

So for the past few weeks, this kid who sits behind me in chemistry and I have been flirting. Well, at least I'd like to think that it is flirting. I'm pretty sure it is/was, though. He is cute, like that dorky-witty-crooked-smile-just-absolutely-adorable cute. He is witty, too, which is huge to me. I love how he can keep my on my toes. He also has that boyish-charm that just makes me smile. Only probably his that he is friends with my ex. I was planned on asking him out on Friday, until a really cute guy messaged me on Facebook yesterday. 

He is a different type of cute though, actually, he isn't cute, he is hot. We went out in fifth grade, too. Not like that really matters, though. Well, he isn't very smart or witty, and he is a player-ish. But he is really nice, and sooo hot. 

I'd like to think of myself as an independent chick who doesn't need a guy to be happy, but I have to admit that all of this attention from guys is making me pretty happy. (And even helping me get over my ex. Finally!)

But I don't really know which one to choose, which is a major issue. They are completely opposite, but one thing they do have in common, is my interest. My plan of action is that I was going to wait until Friday to see if guy #1 wants to hang out or something, but if he doesn't, I always have guy #2 to fall back on. 

And for a moment

The world stopped and I was fine

Only for a moment.

I went to the movies/steak and shake/random parking lot with my best friend. We saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, which was okay. Outside the theatre was amazing though, I really wish I had my camera. There was a field filled with fuzzy dandelions that was just breathtaking. I really regret not taking my camera with me to take pictures. I just wanted to sit in that little field all day and watch the sun set. (Good moment #1.) Steak and Shake was the normal chit-chat and eating. Then, instead of going to the Ikea parking lot, we walked back up hill to a little parking lot that looks a lot like something you would see in the movies as a stop where cars filled with teenagers making out should be parked. We just sat there and had random conversations. (Good moment #2.) So I guess today itself wasn't good, but the moments in it were.

The perfect moment:

Everything is amazing.

I think I'm broken.

My friend's boyfriend came down this weekend and brought a friend, and she thought it would be a good idea to try and hook us up. It wasn't that bad, but it was weird. Everything would've gone alright if it wasn't for the fact that it was the first time I met the guy. His eyes were gorgeous, but I don't know how I felt about him, which is strange, because I usually have a really easy time identifying my feelings for people. He was annoying in the way that he was trying to impress me, but he was nice and seemed generally interested in me, so I guess I am pretty much neutral. My friend and her boyfriend were really cute, though. I wish I had that/I miss doing that. I almost wish that my blind date would've made a move, but I'm not exactly sure how I would have reacted to it. He was somewhat self conscious but he didn't mind showing off, which puzzled me to no end. I guess it is better that nothing happened. I feel bad that I don't like him a lot. Is that weird? I don't know if it is just me being picky or if I'm completely broken from feeling emotions towards anyone.

No editing, just straight up beauty at its prime. You have to admit, even though it is a weed, it is pretty.

There is always hope

For a better tomorrow.

Today matters more.

Wow. Let me be really cliche and say "Long time, no see!" Now that that's over with, I'd like to apologize for not posting a haiku in forever, err, month and a half. My life has just been to hectic. I really needed to take a break from thinking so much about things and just live. Sure, it's nice to take time and reflect, but that takes away the liberty to just move on and live my life. I'm not completely ruling out thinking and reflecting on my life, but I don't want it to be my main focus in life because, let's face it, the future is more important than the past. So I will leave the title box open, giving me the freedom to post as I please.

I love this flower. The white is so refreshing against the brown and green. Summer is on its way, I am so excited!

What I want in a guy:

• Can go for a run with me.
• Uses correct grammar.
• Puts me before himself. 
• Has decent looks/personality.
• Is witty.

Five things. That's it. Is that so hard? Apparently.