Motivational Quotes

Im stronger now. 

I'm no longer the girl who laid her heart broken and bleeding at your feet. 

And there are more, 

Many more,

Important things in my life than a man.

I'm mad at myself, not you.

I'm mad for always being nice.

Always apologizing for things I didn't do.

For getting attached.

For making you a huge part of my life,

Wasting time on you,

Depending on you,

Thinking about you,

Wishing for you, dreaming of you,

Changing for you,

and most of all, for not hating you,

When I know I should.

When you start to miss me,

Remember: you were the one who

Made me cry,

Broke my heart,

Turned your back,

and let me go.

Book Review: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Perks of Being a Wallflower isn't a typical teen novel involving sex and drugs. It has an interesting twist and a different perspective. It summarizes Charlie's freshman year. His first day is rough because he is a quiet kid, but as he slowly finds his place, he has one of the best years, or worst years, of his life. I give it three and a half stars out of five. 

Like Mother Like Daughter.

It is amazing how much we are like our parents. Some signs are obvious, like our appearance. But take a closer look at things. We act a lot like our parents, sometimes even more than we'd like to. 

No, we don't stress over paying the taxes or get angry over gas prices. But we do handle our stress and anger the same way. We do the same things, but at different levels. The popular moms and dads have kids that fill their old shoes. So what about those kids who like to party? Chances are that their parents that like to party, too.

Looking for a great guy? If you get the chance, look at how his father treats his mom. Or you could even ask him how he thinks his father treats his mom. 

Are parents are who we really are. We can't really escape that, either. 

About the Author

I just noticed that I haven't really posted anything about me. Although you've probably made your judgement and think that I am really depressed and have some major mental issues. Well, I guess we'll never know for sure. (Kidding. I'm really not so depressed. We all have our days. This is just how I express my feelings.)

Eight Things You Should If-You-Don't-Already Know About Me:

#1. I enjoy being by myself. I'm not anti-social, I just like my 'me time.' Like reading, listening to music, blogging, and just plain old thinking in general.

#2. I love the simple things: nature and peace. I know what you're thinking, just another fad. Not really. Let's call it a lifestyle, instead.

#3. I have my own style. I like it that way. I don't get easily persuaded into other styles. I like what I like so I wear what I want to.

#4. I would do anything to make the ones I love happy, yet I sometimes have a difficult time being happy with myself. 

#5. I don't cry. I just don't. I don't choose to, I just physically can't.

#6. I'm not dumb (or conceited). I get straight A's, have common sense, and try to apply logic as much as I can. 

#7. I want to become a doctor. Hopefully in the ER and trauma. (crosses fingers!)

#8. I like a variety of things. Reading. Shopping. Running. Playing soccer. Science. Guitar. Photography. I'm willing to give everything thing a try.

Movie Review: Twilight

Although it wasn't exactly like the book, it was pretty good. The mood in the beginning was awkward, but I think that was just how it was meant to be. The acting was okay, but the plot, as many of you know, was extremely well executed. I think maybe that I am just bias though, since I couldn't put the books down. I would give it a three out of five stars.

5 Questions

Instead of having history, our counselor came in and game us a speech based of the book "7 Habits of Highly Successful Teens." Boring? A little bit. Except the paper he handed out to us which had questions that 'made us think.' There were a few questions that were better than expected. So here they are:

1. If you could spend one day in a great library studying anything you wanted, what would you study?
2. List five things you love to do. It could be singing, dancing, looking at magazines, drawing, reading, daydreaming-anything you absolutely love to do.
3. Describe a time when you were deeply inspired.
4. If you could spend an hour with any person who ever lived, who would it be? Why that person? What would you ask?
5. Think of something that represents you-a rose, a song, an animal. Why does it represent you?

My answers? Here they are:

1. I have been really interested in the medical field lately, so I would probably look up some interesting terminology on a variety of things of diseases and other things of that nature. 
2. I absolutely love reading. On summer vacation,  I read an uncounted number of books. They really take me away from reality and just let me into an unexplored world. When I am reading a book outside I am absolutely in heaven! I love the sunlight, the trees, the fresh scent, the calm breeze, everything! Nature is the most beautiful thing on this entire planet. It's a shame that some people don't appreciate it as much as before. Not to sound lazy, but I love sleeping. And when I say love, I mean love. It relaxes me and gives me an extra energy boost. And just as an added hint, it burns more calories than watching television. On the total opposite side of the scale, I love running and playing soccer. Running is an excellent stress buster and, as you probably already know, if the best kind of cardio exercise. What better way to enjoy your run than with a little music? The great thing about music is that there is such an extensive variety that it will fit any mood that is on this planet. It can also be motivational and inspiring in countless ways.
3. A time that I was deeply inspired was whenever my grandmother died. My entire family came together from all of the country to honor her. Everything just seemed to fit. All of the hole in my heart were filled, time stood still, and I felt whole as a person. Everything just felt complete. It really proved to me that family is the most important thing in my life. It was really moving and helped me take a step forward in my life.
4. I would definitely want to have dinner with my grandfather who served in WWII and died a few years later from a blood clot in his brain. Why him? I never got to talk to him, and I would love to know about the time period in which he lived and how his life compares to ours. 
5. A nut would probably be my symbol. Not because I am crazy, or 'nutty.' I am hard on the outside but soft on the inside. I also have this protective shell on the outside, which makes it difficult for me to trust other people.

Shocked

Last night was one that I wish I could erase from my memory. I was pumped, as usual to play my indoor game, it was only our second game of the season. We were tied, 0-0 and there were about 10 minutes in the second half. I was on the sidelines taking our turn of sitting 3 minutes out and letting other players get a chance on the field. The ball was down near our goal and our goalie, one of my close friends, just caught the ball. The instant she had the ball, one of our opponent's teammate took her feet out  from under her, and she literally fell 3 feet in the air onto the ground. She automatically jumped back on her feet, gave two ear-piercing screams of pain and screamed "My arm is broken!". That image have been playing in my mind since last night. It was one of the most horrifying things that I have ever seen. She broke her arm in three places and went into surgery this morning. I really hope she is alright.

Mmm. Candy.

Everyone needs a little man candy. Thank you Google!

Oh, the Irony!

At lunch, I sit with one of my friends and a couple. If you could see how he treats her you would be jealous (I know I am). He is really a great boyfriend. Well, his girlfriend, who is also one of my friends, got mad at him because he couldn't talk a lot with her this weekend. However, he did have time to leave her a voicemail just before she goes to bed (like he always does. It is one of those cutesy things that he does for her). How did she resolve this problem? She didn't talk to him at lunch and got mad at him. Don't you think that it is a tad bit ironic that she solved the issue of him not being able to talk to her by not talking to him?

That got me wondering what other stupid things us girls do.

Inspiration

Props to www.marieclaire.com for the great photos. I honestly wish I was this girl in the shoot.

Random, Unconditional Acts of Kindness

There was a man who was going in for an interview for an office job. He was very well-kept and had long hair, which was neatly kept in a braid. He recognized that this might be a discrepancy; however, he was growing it for his niece, who has been diagnosed with cancer.

That happened at my mom's work, and I still can't get over it. That man would go through all that trouble with finding a job just so he can give his daughter his hair. It honestly brings tears to my eyes.

Wouldn't it be nice if more people were like this, Just did random, unconditional acts of kindness? The world would be a much better place.

I'll leave you with one of my personal favorite quotes from Gandhi that I try and live by:

"We must become the change we want to see in the world."

Picture Day.

One of the most dreaded days of school. 

People always try and wear their favorite shirt and wake up an hour earlier just to make sure that they can do their makeup perfect. But the funny thing is, no one really looks like themselves on picture day. 

It's actually kind of important if you really think about it. No one is going to remember what you did at junior homecoming. But they could just whip out their yearbook and look at your school picture.

Giving Up. Not a want, a must.

What I want to know is why I continue to hold on to you, when you clearly moved on and don't spend your valuable time thinking about me. You showed your friends our place so you can do something that I never approved of you doing. That clearly shows that you don't value us anymore. You lost your chance to have me by doing that. I hope you finally realize that I am done. I know I've said that before, but I'm pretty sure that I am ready. For real this time. Every time I see you talking to another girl or with another girl in general, I feel like I get the wind knocked out of me. I am tired of that feeling. I am tired of having feelings for you. I really want to move on. Seriously. Give me room, cause I'm gonna need it.

He makes me happy. You really don't understand. I know that you don't like him, and that isn't why I like him. He has a personality, and his own ideas. He tells me how he feels, he doesn't just talk to me. He will help me forget you, and that is what I really need right now. Just being talking to him makes me feel beautiful. I don't feel like I have to force myself to be anything that I am not. 

The Best Advice

As I expected, my activities are taking over my life. I am very stressed. At cross country the other day I was so tense/stresses that my shoulders wouldn't move, so my legs were basically disabled for the day. Anyways, my coach noticed and asked what was wrong. I told him I was stressed, pressured to be good at everything, and overall not good. He gave me some great advice:

When you are in the worst mood, try to be happy, just fake it. Fake it until you make it. No one will know, and you will have a much better time handling issues. Try your best. You don't have to be good at everything, just try. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Wait until you are in a routine and things settle down a bit. Everything gets better with time. When you work out a routine, everything will be so much easier. 

He is a pretty smart man.

Learning to Fly, but I Ain't Got Wings

Lately, I've been saying a lot of goodbyes. Goodbye, summer. Goodbye, ex. Goodbye friends. Goodbye, freshman year. Goodbye, Grandma.

This fall I am doing cross country, soccer, and band. I skipped a week of preseason of soccer for cross country camp. This week I went back to soccer camp. Yes, it was awkward. But you know what? I am there to play my game. I don't have to be best friends with all of them. I just have to do what I do, and then leave. As cold hearted as that sounds, it is completely true. What makes everything so awkward is that my 'ex bestfriend' is on the team and randomly stops talking to me. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if she actually told me why, but I guess that would be asking too much.

As we get older, things change, people change. One number that has gotten smaller and smaller over the years is the people whom I trust. I am actually okay with that because it means that I am getting smarter with my decisions on how to determine who is important and who isn't.

Another thing that I think I am getting accustomed to is letting people go. I've been hurt a lot. The best thing I did to get rid of the pain was to learn to let go. Just walk away knowing that you are a better person and keep your head high. I only have two more years of high school left, and chances are that I won't see these people ever again. 

We meet a lot of people in our lifetime. The are two types of people in our lives: those who change us, and those who don't. The ones who change us are the most important. You may not know the change at first, but as time progresses, you will realize what that person meant to you. The ones who hurt you and let you down will probably mean the most to you because you will learn the most from them. You know your 'bff&e&e's' who gossip at lunch? Yeah, them. Chances are they talk about you, too. Don't worry, they don't mean anything to you. They aren't your real friends. 

The hardest thing to do in life is find what you need. (Of course, everyone has different needs so don't try copying off of your neighbor for this one.) Nevertheless, we all decide what we want in our lives by choosing. All of our choices describe who we are, what we value, and most importantly our future. Unfortunately, all of our choices have an effect and we can't go back and erase them or do them over again.

Life isn't really about finding yourself, it's about finding what you, personally, need in order to be happy. 

What everyone needs:

1. Friends who need them
2. Learn how to let go.
3. Know how to judge character.
4. To accept yourself for who you really are.

What Matters the Most

Warning: I am going to be really cliche and sappy in the following post.

Yeah, you can 'rebel' against your parents and say that you 'hate' your family. You can talk back to them and treat them terribly. You can ignore them, tell them to drop you off a block away so your 'friends' don't see you with them, pretend to be embarrassed by them so your 'friends' don't make fun of you, and not take their advice and make bad decisions. If you want to do that, be my guest. But before you do, just remember who puts a roof over your head, and who works for the money for the food to keep you not hungry. Just think of how hard they try to teach you how to be independent and successful. That is all they really want, the least you could do is help out for a bit. Sorry if that came off a bit harsh, but it is true.

The most important people in your life is your family, and I am willing to argue with anyone who says different. Friends will come and go, but your family will always be there. They are your foundation, and they define who you are and where you came from. Just like a country has a history, you also have a history. And your family is that history. 

A really interesting thing to me is finding out where my family came from. Just listening to my great uncle talk about his life was absolutely amazing. The world was a totally different place than it is now, and it is really hard to fathom unless you have someone from that generation talk to you personally about their experiences. Another personal favorite of mine is old photographs. They tell so many stories that humans can't. They tell memories that people who passed away can no longer share.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. You are stuck with them. Your family will always be there no matter what. They are who you are. 

Today was a wonderful day!  I went to Cost Cutters to get my hair trimmed, and the lady who cut my hair was obnoxious and wasn't very gentle. I was a bit disappointed. Then I went shopping with my mom and brother and got some good deals (listed in the post below). Here are some pictures of a sunflower that I took.

Movie Review: Mamma Mia

I saw Mamma Mia this past weekend, and I'd have to say that it was the cutest movie ever. It really pulled off the whole musical-romantic-comedy combo. It really uplifted my mood. The random parts where the ensemble entered were absolutely hilarious. All the clothes in the movie were really laid-back chic. I give it a four out of five stars.

Peace, Love, and Nature

Just a few photographs that I took outside today. I love being outdoors. The weather was especially nice today. 

Inspiration

This Forever21 dress reminds me a lot of the Antoni Gaudi piece, below. The blues and intricate details are amazing. It is $19.80 online.

This Antoni Gaudi piece of art is just amazing. It is so vibrant, unique, and beautiful. All of the pieces of this mosaic come together and form a breath-taking piece of art. It isn't like most pieces I've ever seen. I have a weird obsession with it. I think it is the bright blue that really draws my eyes to it. Props to Google for the picture.

I'm No Superman

The definition of perfect varies from person. The definition of perfect to me is being happy.I'm not perfect, and I'm really tired of trying to be perfect. I just have to learn to accept it. There was a time in my life that I was always happy. It was nice, but now I've grown up. I've learned and realized that I am not always going to be happy and fit in with the crowd. But things just go so fast and by the time that I get happy, there is another obstacle in my way. 

I'm giving up on trying to be perfect. I am just going to stick it out and accept myself.  Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy. Maybe I was meant to be complicated. After all, this world probably couldn't handle it if everyone was happy all the time. I guess there is an equal amount of both, so it balances out.

Ten Songs

I have a confession: I am a Grey's Anatomy fanatic. Everything about this television drama is amazing. It is the only show that I watch religiously. Aside from the remarkable plot and characters, my favorite part is definitely the soundtrack. There are three CDs out (Seasons 1,2, and 3), and I am choosing my ten favorite songs to share with you.

#1 Sun Comes Up by John Legend

It is really a great morning song that will instantly brighten your day. John Legend has a smooth voice that makes it seem like you are the only girl in the world.

#2 Million Faces by Paolo Nutini

This slow song is perfect for a day of contemplation. If you aren't in deep thought at the beginning of this song, you sure will be afterwards. Paolo sure has his way with words.

#3 Ain't Nothing Wrong With That by Robert Randolph & The Family Band

An upbeat song that just makes you want to get up and dance. This song has a catchy beat that sounds a bit taboo for a simply girl like me.

#4 Kaboom by Ursula 1000

This futuristic song has a funky beat that will more than likely leave you asking yourself: what did I just listen to? This is the funkiest beat I have ever listened to.

#5 Homebird by Foy Vance

The gentle guitar and Foy's voice combine to create a calming and sweet melody. It really makes you appreciate where you came from.

#6 Multiply by Jamie Lidell

This old-fashioned, funky beat takes you back to the day before you were born. Jamie masters the funky, pop beat, which will more than likely make you get up and dance.

#7 Running on Sunshine by Jesus Jackson

Every time this song plays on my iPod, I can't help but smile. It's eccentric beat makes me feel happy and optimistic. Whenever I am feeling down, all I have to do is listen to this song, and I instantly become happy.

#8 Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson

This slow, melancholy melody will keep you going in rough times. It is truly inspirational and makes you want to keep going until you succeed. 

#9 Sexy Mistake by The Chalets

A true 'girl power' song. This song completely turns me into a rebel with it's heavy guitar and fast beat.

#10 Come to Me by Koop

The combination of the heavenly opening and the smooth voice grabs me, and I quickly began to sing along. Koop always comes up with unique songs, and this one happened to be one of my personal favorites.

Book Review: Twilight

The new 'must have' series in the library is Twilight. (Yeah, I know that I am a tad bit late on this trend, but oh well.) This series has quickly gained popularity. The real question in my mind was: is this another bad obsession (ex: Hannah Montana)? Or is this book actually worth reading?

My friend and I have seen them raved about on FaceBook. Needless to say, she bought the books, read them, and then lent me the first one: Twilight. I began reading it last night and couldn't put it down. I finished it this afternoon because it was a rainy day and reading is my favorite thing to do. I was surprised at how the book kept my attention. It really had a unique plot line and was different than I had anticipated. I can't wait to get the next book from her and begin reading!

So Much For My Happy Ending.

Yea, I know it is a little early in my life to be making any huge decisions, but I'm pretty sure that this will save me a lot of pain down the road, so I guess that it is okay.

I've given up on trying to have a happy ending. Hell, I didn't really have a very happy beginning for that matter. There are two types of people in the world: those who are happy, and those who aren't. I think I was born to be unhappy; honestly, I'm okay with that, and I won't deny it. Don't get me wrong, I am happy sometimes, but something will always be missing. It is like a black hole in the middle of my chest that is constant.

All together, I've slowly began to take away other emotions as well. I don't cry anymore. Instead of crying out my frustration, I just exercise and it eventually goes away. I'm done getting emotionally involved in relationships. Every relationship that I had I screwed up so I'm going to just not try them anymore. It is really what is best for me, because in the end, there will be no disappointment. I won't expect anything from anyone and when I don't get it, I won't feel bad.

Happy endings are simply made up. They were meant to be in books and movies. Almost every happy ending that I saw/read was classified as fiction, so it's better if we keep it that way. 

Movie Review: Get Smart

It wasn't a 'smart' idea to go see this movie. I was initially drawn to 'Get Smart' because Steve Carell is ridiculously funny. However, as the movie progressed, I figured out that he didn't really fit the role. Don't get me wrong, he is a really great actor, but something wasn't right. However, I did like seeing Anne Hathaway on the big screen. 

The over all plot didn't really keep my attention. The last thirty minutes I just wanted to walk out of the movie theatre. It was a action-comedy-romance flick all rolled into one. Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway didn't really have any sparks between them. Anne Hathaway wore a really amazing, white trench (which did get ruined, but it was nice while it lasted). I would probably give this film a one out of four stars.