"Life is about trusting out feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past"

Probable homecoming dress:

I think I look like a mermaid. :]

I think I'm falling

But babe, it'll be okay

Because I'm fine now.

So last year in August, I talked about a guy who I used to see (not dating, but just randomly see places). Well, we've been talking again. We hung out yesterday, and it was amazing. I really like him. We are so much a like, which is a good thing. He is just so amazing. Bwahh! I'm scared like hell, though. I've never felt like this about a guy before. He is just so amazing. <3333

These flowers were given to my mother from my dad on Mother's Day.

I discovered an amazing artist while searching for new music today. She isn't that popular, but god, I love her: Tina Parol. [Too bad Limewire doesn't have her :( ]

Favorite Songs:

• Who's Got Your Money
  
• Hold On to Your Heart
  
• Crazy
  
• I'm Alive
  

Favorite Lyrics:

I had a feeling

Cause your not calling 

you say no

But people keep talking

followed you around the block

saw her, she ain't even hot

-Who's Got Your Money 

At first I was sad

At first I was crying

And then I got mad

And I started buying.

-Who's Got Your Money 

It's hard to believe

How much I did for you

Everyone knew hoe much I adored you

But that's that and I ain't lookin' back

-Who's Got Your Money 

Some girls are so drunk on love

Those girls are all romance 

Can get enough

-Hold On To Your Heart

It's kind of strange how these songs relate to my situation that I am going through right now. I guess that's why I like them so much.

New hair style. What do you think? [By the way, the shirts that I am wearing are purple, not blue how the picture makes them look.]

English . . . Maybe?

A simple lesson that I've learned is that everything is always changing. Sometimes, these changes happen quick and leave you wondering what just happened; other times, changes occur slowly over time, barely noticeable until various years later. People can't stop these changes, but they can help speed them up or slow them down. Changes can be for the better or for the worse, but one thing that will always remain the same is that you will never be the same. 

My change was after losing someone who I had cared for and cherished as one of my best friends. He gave me honest advice like a true friend would and tried to help me as much as possible. He was my best friend, and I only had time for him. He was my everything: my sense of security, my happiness, and my honesty. With him, I believed in myself, which is something that is no longer familiar to me. I was one of the happiest people you would ever converse with. My smiling face and optimistic attitude kept me going, even when times were rough. I was filled with ambition and willingness to succeed, believing that the sky was the limit and that my dreams would come to me if I put in enough effort. I pushed my flaws aside and believed that the scuffs on my shoes built character. The day that I lost him, I lost a part of me.

My optimistic attitude was now clouded with dismal reality, and I no longer carried a smile on my face. The feeling of self-fulfillment was replaced with the feelings of worthlessness and emptiness. My once light heart had turned into a stone in my chest. I spent the weekends sitting in my house, having only memories to comfort me, for I made the choice to make no other friends but him. 

Building myself up from rock bottom will probably be the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. I found new friends, learned to make my own decisions, and became independent. As rough as this experience was, I'm glad that I was able to work through it and become stronger. Even though I am no longer the optimist, I believe that this is who I am now, and I've just recently learned how to accept myself again.

No haiku, today, just a lot of confusion, excitement, and happiness.

So for the past few weeks, this kid who sits behind me in chemistry and I have been flirting. Well, at least I'd like to think that it is flirting. I'm pretty sure it is/was, though. He is cute, like that dorky-witty-crooked-smile-just-absolutely-adorable cute. He is witty, too, which is huge to me. I love how he can keep my on my toes. He also has that boyish-charm that just makes me smile. Only probably his that he is friends with my ex. I was planned on asking him out on Friday, until a really cute guy messaged me on Facebook yesterday. 

He is a different type of cute though, actually, he isn't cute, he is hot. We went out in fifth grade, too. Not like that really matters, though. Well, he isn't very smart or witty, and he is a player-ish. But he is really nice, and sooo hot. 

I'd like to think of myself as an independent chick who doesn't need a guy to be happy, but I have to admit that all of this attention from guys is making me pretty happy. (And even helping me get over my ex. Finally!)

But I don't really know which one to choose, which is a major issue. They are completely opposite, but one thing they do have in common, is my interest. My plan of action is that I was going to wait until Friday to see if guy #1 wants to hang out or something, but if he doesn't, I always have guy #2 to fall back on. 

And for a moment

The world stopped and I was fine

Only for a moment.

I went to the movies/steak and shake/random parking lot with my best friend. We saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, which was okay. Outside the theatre was amazing though, I really wish I had my camera. There was a field filled with fuzzy dandelions that was just breathtaking. I really regret not taking my camera with me to take pictures. I just wanted to sit in that little field all day and watch the sun set. (Good moment #1.) Steak and Shake was the normal chit-chat and eating. Then, instead of going to the Ikea parking lot, we walked back up hill to a little parking lot that looks a lot like something you would see in the movies as a stop where cars filled with teenagers making out should be parked. We just sat there and had random conversations. (Good moment #2.) So I guess today itself wasn't good, but the moments in it were.